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30/04 - 19:06

Her=F3i versus humano

O pai como refer=EAncia m=E1xima no in=EDcio da = fase de=20 socializa=E7=E3o

Paloma Lopes

Nas telas ou nos quadrinhos, eles t=EAm superpoderes, lutam pelo bem = e=20 geralmente possuem caracter=EDsticas que os diferenciam dos demais. = Super-homem,=20 Batman e Homem-Aranha s=E3o alguns dos super-her=F3is mais famosos da = hist=F3ria, que=20 sobrevivem ao tempo e povoam o imagin=E1rio coletivo, de gera=E7=E3o em = gera=E7=E3o, com=20 seus feitos fant=E1sticos e habilidades acima da m=E9dia. J=E1 na vida = real, eles s=E3o=20 de carne-e-osso, pass=EDveis de erros e repletos de limita=E7=F5es = inerentes =E0=20 condi=E7=E3o humana. A figura paterna =E9 constantemente associada ao = mito do her=F3i,=20 afinal o pai =E9 a refer=EAncia m=E1xima da crian=E7a na fase de = socializa=E7=E3o, que tem=20 in=EDcio, sobretudo, no per=EDodo de ingresso escolar.

=93Nos = primeiros anos de=20 vida, a crian=E7a =E9 mais ligada =E0 m=E3e, tem com ela uma rela=E7=E3o = simbi=F3tica, at=E9=20 pela quest=E3o da pr=F3pria amamenta=E7=E3o. Em seguida, quando est=E1 = come=E7ando a criar=20 seus primeiros la=E7os sociais =96 na escolinha, por exemplo -, a figura = masculina=20 passa a ser a principal refer=EAncia=94, diz Carolina Nikaedo, = psic=F3loga da Equipe=20 de Diagn=F3stico e Atendimento Cl=EDnico (EDAC), de S=E3o Paulo, e = professora da=20 Faculdade de Psicologia da Universidade Nove de Julho (Uninove). Segundo = ela,=20 essa associa=E7=E3o entre pai e her=F3i tem rela=E7=E3o com os primeiros = contatos da=20 crian=E7a com a imposi=E7=E3o de limites.

=93Nessa faixa = et=E1ria de 6, 7 anos, a=20 crian=E7a =E9 muito observadora, e sua habilidade cognitiva =E9 mais = f=E1cil de ser=20 explorada quando h=E1 uma viv=EAncia concreta. Por isso ocorre a = reprodu=E7=E3o de=20 comportamentos, principalmente da figura masculina=94, explica ela. Por = exemplo:=20 se o pai grita muito em casa, com a esposa, provavelmente a crian=E7a = tamb=E9m ir=E1=20 se expressar da mesma maneira com os coleguinhas. Ou, se o pai joga sua = bituca=20 de cigarro na rua, enquanto dirige, certamente o filho ir=E1 concluir = que tamb=E9m=20 pode jogar lixo no ch=E3o. =93O bom exemplo, neste per=EDodo de = forma=E7=E3o, =E9 de=20 fundamental import=E2ncia para a constru=E7=E3o de conceitos e = valores=94, ressalta a=20 psic=F3loga.

Carolina tamb=E9m alerta para a quest=E3o da = idealiza=E7=E3o, por=20 parte da crian=E7a, com a figura paterna. =93O patamar do super-her=F3i = =E9 muito alto.=20 Por isso, os pais devem, tamb=E9m, mostrar suas limita=E7=F5es para os = filhos. Caso=20 contr=E1rio, por ter essa refer=EAncia de perfei=E7=E3o, a crian=E7a vai = ter dificuldades=20 em lidar com suas pr=F3prias limita=E7=F5es, com seus pr=F3prios = fracassos=94, salienta.=20 Em outras palavras, quando percebe que o pai =E9 humano, perdendo o jogo = de=20 futebol =E0s vezes ou errando o caminho enquanto dirige para algum = destino=20 desconhecido, o filho acaba lidando melhor com seus pr=F3prios erros ou = eventuais=20 derrotas.

O professor Ricardo Fernando P=E1taro, de 32 anos, = conta que =E9=20 comum ser repreendido pelo filho Jo=E3o Victor, de 6 =96 principalmente = nas quest=F5es=20 ligadas ao tr=E2nsito. =93Ele =E9 muito ligado =E0s regras, e se por = acaso atravesso um=20 sinal vermelho ou saio sem colocar o cinto de seguran=E7a, Jo=E3o fica = indignado,=20 preocupado. Ele fala: =91Pai, como voc=EA fez isso? N=E3o pode, est=E1 = errado=92=94, narra=20 Ricardo. Certa vez, ficou t=E3o incomodado que chegou a contar para = v=E1rios=20 amiguinhos na escola sobre algum desses deslizes cotidianos. =93=C9 = dessa=20 idealiza=E7=E3o que vem a cobran=E7a de que o pai deve ser perfeito, tem = que fazer=20 tudo certo. Fico muito atento porque meu filho est=E1 realmente na fase = de se=20 espelhar em tudo o que fa=E7o. Ao mesmo tempo em que isso =E9 muito = gostoso, tamb=E9m=20 requer muita responsabilidade=94, destaca.

De acordo com ele, = como Jo=E3o=20 ainda tem a vis=E3o polarizada entre bem e mal, t=EDpica das hist=F3rias = dos=20 super-her=F3is, caso veja o pai =93pisando na bola=94, rapidamente = associa a a=E7=E3o ao=20 mal. =C9 justamente por isso que ele n=E3o admite ver qualquer falha. = =93Pe=E7o=20 desculpas e tento explicar o que aconteceu, at=E9 porque meu filho = est=E1 na idade=20 de querer saber sobre todas as coisas, o tempo todo=94, diz. Como pai e = filho=20 fazem diversas atividades juntos, como praticar esportes ou desenvolver=20 atividades rotineiras como regar o jardim ou mesmo lavar a lou=E7a, = Ricardo conta=20 que o menino est=E1 sempre muito atento ao seu humor. =93Se estou = preocupado ou=20 mesmo chateado com algo, ele vem logo perguntar o que aconteceu, por que = estou=20 assim ou assado=94, afirma.

Apesar da rela=E7=E3o de total = cumplicidade,=20 Ricardo diz que encara com naturalidade o fato de nem sempre ser capaz = de=20 corresponder a todas as expectativas do filho. =93Sei que se prometi que = brincar=EDamos em determinado hor=E1rio e acabo impedido por causa de um = dia de=20 muito trabalho, estou frustrando-o. Mas, ao mesmo tempo, acho importante = que=20 Jo=E3o comece a perceber que nem tudo na vida =E9 exatamente do jeito = que queremos,=20 e que os her=F3is perfeitos s=F3 existem nos desenhos animados=94, = pondera.

=9B Voc=EA tem mais informa=E7=F5es? Envie para Minha = Not=EDcia, o site de=20 jornalismo colaborativo do iG

Paloma Lopes

Meu = her=F3i O professor Ricardo P=E1taro diz que o filho = Jo=E3o n=E3o=20 admite v=EA-lo cometendo qualquer tipo de falha. "Ao mesmo tempo em que = ser o=20 her=F3i do seu filho =E9 muito gostoso, tamb=E9m requer muita=20 responsabilidade."

> mais=20 v=EDdeos

Pais de = primeira=20 viagem
Como lidar=20 com a ansiedade de esperar pelo beb=EA

Gera=E7=F5esTema de hoje: como = os pais=20 participam na cria=E7=E3o dos filhos?

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application/octet-stream Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Location: http://www.ig.com.br/paginas/home/barra/v8/igbarra.js /* =A9 Copyright 2000-2007, Internet Group - Portais: iG, iBest e = BrTurbo */ /* powered by: wrenzi, llemos, dtrindade & alaky */ // Fun=E7=F5es... function _$getPortal() { if(self !=3D top) { if(top.brturbo) { _$portal = =3D 2; } else if(top.ibest) { _$portal =3D 3; } else { _$portal =3D 1; } = } else { _$portal =3D 1; } return _$portal;} function abrePopGenericoIg(url, largura, altura) { window.open(url, = "popgenericoiG", "scrollbars=3D0, width=3D" + largura + ", height=3D" + = altura);} function buscaiG(frm1){ if(document.frm1.q.value =3D=3D "Fa=E7a sua = busca" || document.frm1.q.value =3D=3D "Faça sua busca"){ = alert("Digite uma consulta antes de acionar a busca"); }else{ = window.open("http://busca.igbusca.com.br/app/search?q=3D"+escape(frm1.q.v= alue)+"&o=3DBARRAIG"); } return false;} /* resgata site */ var locrz =3D location.href; var rgcrz =3D "[\?&]codsit=3D([^&#]*)"; var rserz =3D (new RegExp(rgcrz)).exec(locrz); var fnrrz =3D (rserz =3D=3D null ? = (locrz.indexOf("parceiros_regionais/parceiros_regionais") !=3D -1 ? "51" = : "") : rserz[1]); /* form */ var fbcrz =3D '

'; /* links */ var ldfrz =3D '

Assine
E-mail
SAC
Canais

'; /* portais */ var lptrz =3D '

'+ '